Better Zits

For Kicks, You Know, KICKS!

2010-03-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

"Now here, take your ipecac."

I Accuse My Parents

2010-02-01T09:09:00.000-08:00

It took me a while to figure out that Pierce's hood was not a sleeve.

Working Girl

2010-01-25T16:11:00.000-08:00

How on EARTH...is that grapefruit staying on that plate?

Casanova

2010-01-15T15:13:00.001-08:00

What a beautiful way to spend New Years: trapped in a gaping void.

Gloom Years

2010-01-12T16:02:00.000-08:00

So Jeremy's dad has had thinning hair for his entire life? Huh. Makes you think.

180

2009-10-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

And the tables have turned.

Parseltongue

2009-10-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

He's going to spoil his supper.
Also I realize now that I meant "fruit by the foot". OOPS.

The Moses of His People

2009-10-20T15:46:00.000-07:00

Now let's tackle that suffrage!

"I'm sick and tired of these...Star Wars!"

2009-10-15T16:24:00.000-07:00

Pierce, I don't think you're even trying. COME ON.

Zebo the Clown

2009-10-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

At least he gets good cell phone coverage.
Also there is something very wrong with that clown. "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" anyone?

Facebook Follies

2009-10-07T21:19:00.000-07:00

Connie is so jaded.

Generation Why?

2009-10-05T20:10:00.000-07:00

That sandwich has been passed down from generation to generation.

And?

2009-09-30T09:02:00.000-07:00

Braggart.

Two-fer

2009-09-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

It was worth it.

Prime Time

2009-09-25T01:06:00.000-07:00

Or, "my leg slowly disconnecting itself from my body."

Kindergarten Conundrum

2009-09-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

Huh. I wonder where they live now, since this would suggest they live in a real place and not just some fictional one like "Centerville, USA" or "Novelty, Missouri".

The End of an Era

2009-09-21T16:22:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I really like the composition of the final panel when there's no balloon like that?
Well, it's probably more weird to be considering the composition of Zits strips.

Peaked Early

2009-09-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

It's the only advice Pierce is fit to give.
Or Jeremy's dad for that matter.

Cooking Mama

2009-09-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

That gruel will never get done now.

American Idiot

2009-09-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

Where does his head go?

Sorry for the delay...

2009-09-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Better Zits will be back sometime next week.

Who What When Where Why and Good or Bad?

2009-07-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

I know we already said that the worst Zits was this one but...in this case I think some back-pedaling is necessary.

My Dinner with Andre

2009-07-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

Who just announces what they're eating out loud to a table of people who are eating the exact same thing?

Schormz

2009-07-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly simple.

Old Hat

2009-07-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

Huh...So I wonder if it's difficult to wake Jeremy up in the morning?

The Third Degree

2009-07-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

Remember Hector? Yeah.

Suck it Ballet

2009-07-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

It also looks like it could be a musical.

Gagungas

2009-07-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

Honestly, what else is there to look at?

E University

2009-07-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

More mysterious Chad backstory!
Man, to think, he got all of those awards without a face.

Time Chasers

2009-07-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

AACK! More Old Old Zits! In this particular strip, me make a shocking discovery:

That Jeremy used to wear a comically tiny hat.

It's also kind of interesting to think of how viciously anti-parent Jeremy is currently when compared to this relatively innocent plea to not be treated as though he were ten. The times they are a-changin'.

I Clam What I Clam

2009-06-30T22:15:00.001-07:00

Postmortem passive-aggression.

Spring in Your Step, Teeth in Your Mouth

2009-06-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

Teenagers. Fathers. Driving. Music.

Issues

2009-06-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

I find this terrifying.

Percussion of the Damned

2009-06-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

No offense to movie theater workers (I mean, some of my best friends are movie theater workers, you know), but since when do they have a cool and/or casual look. I'm just sayin'.

Back To School (Starring Rodney Dangerfield)

2009-06-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

An interesting point of this image would be the dinosaur-headed fellow. I draw attention to this because you can see the tongue, and there's nothing else to indicate that there's a human inside. The natural assumption would be that his face is merely in shadow. My interpretation, however, is that this man literally has a dinosaur for a head.
Sigh...dreams...

Happy Hour

2009-06-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Oh, what an example they set.

Too Soon

2009-06-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

Between this and the "colorful people" incident, I don't know what to think.

What Is the Noise All About?

2009-06-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Bring in the noise, funk, what have you, but it can't gloss over these crippling family communication issues.

Alimony Payments

2009-06-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

The secret life of Pierce! He who is now a hole-punched, hair-dyed, disaffected youth was once an average family man.

A family man...with a hat.

The Best Part of Waking Up

2009-05-28T16:36:00.001-07:00

Hey all. Just a heads up that posting might be a little unpredictable for a bit because I (Maddie) in Japan. For REALZ. Good day to you.

Touchy Feely

2009-05-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

My favorite panel is probably where he picks up Sara. What?

Almost Famous

2009-05-25T15:09:00.001-07:00

More daring teens might actually just go out and drink coffee and whiskey and smoke cigarettes.

BYOZ

2009-05-22T16:59:00.001-07:00

Poor Jeremy's mom, so jaded. But she should know that if you offer to make potato salad you're going to get this.

Motherboy

2009-05-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

A question every son has to ask his mother, and every mother had to be jaded and disappointed by.

Jeremy From Another Mother

2009-05-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

He's also using their last straw, the bastard! He'll never live up to Chad at this rate.

Out to Stud

2009-05-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ouch.

A Call For Help

2009-05-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

It's back! and Bettered-ered than ever!
But you know, Jeremy's probably too lame to take drugs anyhow. So I guess he's just a liar.

OLD, OLD ZITS!!!

2009-05-01T10:13:00.001-07:00

A special treat today! I recently purchased the book "The Comics Since 1945", which just so happens to chronicle the grassroots of our favorite teen and his wacky family. Some very interesting facts were uncovered and will be posted later. In the meantime, JUST LOOK AT THOSE SQUIGGLES!
Also, sorry for the erratic posting, but yadda yadda finals time. Hope you stick around!

For Your Eyes Only

2009-04-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

Do I go to your house and tell you how to file your files?! Do I go to your house and tell you how to fill in your featureless backgrounds?!

Yoga Void

2009-04-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

Mothers of the future-TODAY!

Uhhhhhhhh...

2009-04-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

This is too good to better.

Teens are Unclean and Care About the Earth

2009-04-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

It might not be that weird. We don't even know what the rest of the room looks like!
By the way, Sally Forth knows how to handle its Earth Days.

A Panel Worth 1,000 Texts

2009-04-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

They'd be a lot lighter, about the same weight as a lasagna. Like this one.

In the Dead of Blue-Filter Night

2009-04-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

ExCUSE me, Moon? We're trying to make a joke about teenagers and how they don't "do" mornings, so if you could just wane your way out of the panel that'd be great. Oh, and take that night sky with you, thanks.

Laundry Dayze

2009-04-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

How much of Jeremy's relationship with his parents is based around his clothes? 80%?

Teen for a Day

2009-04-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

I am mesmerized by the emblem on the floor for some reason.
Also, "Teens?! Hilarious! Cut and print."

Man House

2009-04-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

He won't remember.

Well, I Can't Explain

2009-04-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

I guess this is supposed to be some skateboard-centric disaster, but riddle me this! Who can possibly skate on a board that's only five inches wide, HMMM? Think about it.

CSI: ZITS

2009-04-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

He's no David Caruso, I'll tell you that much.

Mid-Life Crisis

2009-04-09T05:49:00.000-07:00

When you're one of the main characters of a newspaper comic, your life is probably as simple as it gets. You have to make, what? Three different jokes every week?

One Night Stand, But Again

2009-04-08T12:08:00.000-07:00

They always say that.

Continuity

2009-04-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

He'll just have to touch her boob and find out.

"Crash" by David Cronenberg

2009-04-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! A penis joke!

Balanced Breakfast

2009-04-03T11:18:00.000-07:00

My fertility doctor said the same thing! HEY-O!

Sudden Sniffer's Death

2009-04-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

Also he can't wear it because it's not purple flannel.

Reality Schmeality!

2009-04-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

I keep tellin' ya', you get a house designed by M.C. Escher and you're gonna' get this.

Four Garfields of the Apocalypse

2009-03-31T12:02:00.000-07:00

He'll never HAVE to do mornings after this.

Back to the Zits as of tomorrow!

The Love Has Gone Out of Our Marriage

2009-03-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

At least they still have their barely disguised hatred of one another to keep them going.

Inter-Office Realtionships

2009-03-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

Sexual Harassment is never funny. Except for right now.

Cathy Cuts Deep

2009-03-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

I mean, that's what Cathy's all about anyway.

In This Corner...Man-Fiction!

2009-03-24T16:30:00.000-07:00

As a comics community, it is sometimes good to look beyond our borders. Newspaper comics are an archaic and mysterious beast with which we enter a deadly and erotic dance every day.

In this spirit, Better Zits would like to present you with a little something called "Man-Fiction": a dramatic reinterpretation of the daily comics. Please enjoy these saucy and surreal re-imaginings. And never fear! For those of you only in it for the Zits, they'll be bettering again by next week.

Fantasy Preggers

2009-03-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

But what about the "Success Through Abstinence" lecture at THE Temple? Jeremy, didn't you learn anything?

Wave of the Future

2009-03-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, flannel will still be popular in forty years.

Uh-oh! Call Back!

2009-03-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

As if we'd let "travertine" be forgotten. But don't worry, Jeremy. We've done our homework, thank you very much!

NOOOOOOOOOAAAA!

2009-03-17T13:12:00.001-07:00

So that's where he went! Also, "travertine"?

One Night Stand

2009-03-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

I would really like to hear the "Roll!" sound effect in day to day life.

Maytag Hits the Newstand the Only Way it Knows How

2009-03-13T23:51:00.000-07:00

$200? Well I never!

Dorsalgia

2009-03-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

I don't think this qualifies as enough of a tender moment for Walt to be clasping his son's shoulder so gently.

Happy Lesson Part III

2009-03-11T12:42:00.001-07:00

Thanks for sticking with us through this three part riff-stravaganza!
The only thing left to do now is figure out how Walt is holding that cup A: with no fingers and B: with no handle. Discuss.

Happy Lesson Part II

2009-03-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

Well, not counting Chad. Look forward to tomorrow's THIRD INSTALLMENT OF OUR HAPPY LESSON!

Happy Lesson Part I

2009-03-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll! This here is a SPECIAL THREE PART EDITION of Better Zits. This particular strip yielded a lot of riffs this time around so we decided to share them all. Stay tuned!

"Bad Hare Day"-Not Affiliated with R.L. Stine

2009-03-06T18:43:00.000-08:00

Geez, why even have children?

Affirmative Action

2009-03-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

That's really not cool, especially now that Obama's in office.

PSA: Mono

2009-03-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

Maybe it would be easier to prevent lip damage in the Zits universe if people had chins. Just sayin'.

HOT Abstinence Only Education

2009-03-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

Well, it's about time that I get over to THE temple.

What? Why?

2009-03-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

Jerry, Jim, gettin' a little vague here, guys. Come on.

Fishy List

2009-02-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

That must be one crowded bra. Personally, I just wish that sardines were Tarako.

That's not true.

ALSO! Better Zits has lacked an official schedule in terms of updates. So, we have made an executive decision to try and update Monday through Friday!

Soap on a Rope, Fun on the Bun

2009-02-26T10:46:00.000-08:00

Green (word balloon) With Envy

2009-02-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

Nothing wrong with a woman getting gussied up for her son every once in a while.

Memory Lapse

2009-02-22T14:05:00.001-08:00

Hahaha! Boys are different that girls.
But seriously, anterograde amnesia is probably one of the saddest things in the world.

No Laughing Matter

2009-02-20T14:57:00.000-08:00

Colorless, odorless, tasteless, and ROCKIN'!

2009-02-17T11:25:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't pump up those jams, if I were you.

Womb Envy

2009-02-15T11:50:00.000-08:00

You and me both, buddy.

Your Tubes

2009-02-11T12:18:00.001-08:00

That crazy kid is at it again! The only question is, "whose kid is he?"

Family Reunion

2009-02-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

I suppose she's kind of like the Jerry Blank of Zits.

Non-corporeal Vienna Beef

2009-02-11T12:00:00.001-08:00

One Lovin' Mother

2009-02-11T11:42:00.000-08:00

Here we have Jeremy putting an interesting Oedipal spin on the classic line from Jerry McGuire.

In The Beginning

2009-02-11T01:59:00.000-08:00